There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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