Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
