thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
