I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
