I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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