guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize