I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize