I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
