We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
