I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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