I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize