return my video game
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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