last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
