Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We are all done wearing pants today
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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