So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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