therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
