He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
