I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
