her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
