dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
