There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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