Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Drunk is a universal language darling
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize