I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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