Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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