I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
