You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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