Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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