Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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