i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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