So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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