she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Randomize
