At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
