Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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