Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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