spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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