You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
