I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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