its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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