I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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