he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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