got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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