I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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