dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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