He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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