I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize