i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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