"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
