i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
