I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
