She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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