hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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