He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is classic penis vs brain.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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