The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
