I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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