So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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