not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
